04.29.14

Ministry of Presence: Being a Safe Place for Teens   by Mary Glenn

http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/articles/ministry-of-presence?utm_source=FYI+E-Journal&utm_campaign=3ab67601bf-FYI+E-Journal+April+22+2014&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e88a54a953-3ab67601bf-312895925

Can I tell you a secret?

Will you promise not to tell anyone?

Am I safe with you?

If you’re like me, I’m guessing you’ve been asked questions like these before. Teenagers, like all of us, long to have safe places to be heard, known, and loved. 

But what makes students feel safe? And what does “safety” actually mean?

Providing safe places for students results in emotional well-being. Ultimately, reflecting God’s love and care for our students also helps them to feel free to be the people God has made them to be.

Students at Peace

A young person’s well-being is impacted by their environment, including their community, family relationships, and support. Research on well-being encompasses emotional, mental, and physical health as well as social competence and healthy relationships. 1  In other words, well-being is a comprehensive term that indicates wholeness, safety, rootedness, and a sense of being at peace with self, others, and God. Teenagers who know they are loved and have purpose in life feel this sense of wholeness.

But for many, that peace is elusive.

What Makes a Teenager Feel Safe to Share?

Continue reading

04.29.14

Want To Be A Better Bible Teacher? Follow These 3 Simple Truths   by Andy Blanks
https://youthministry360.com/blog/want-be-better-bible-teacher-follow-these-3-simple-truths?utm_source=youthministry360+Newsletter&utm_campaign=4372c7dcc2-042714-better-bible-teacher&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_734fc3e586-4372c7dcc2-321825197
The thing I love more than anything is opening up the Bible and engaging teenagers with God’s Word.
For me personally, I feel like I am closest to what God has called me to do with my life when I am teaching the Bible. Am I a great Bible study leader? I don’t think so. I routinely find myself noticing something I could have done better or differently. But as a student of good teaching and preaching, I have learned a few things that have really helped me be an effective teacher of God’s Word.
Here are three of them:

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04.29.14

10 Ways To Protect Your Kids Online   by Liz Griffin
http://inspiredtoaction.com/2013/10/10-ways-to-protect-your-kids-online/

1. Don’t let you children use the internet when you are not there. If your kids are older and have phones then this is a bit harder to enforce. However, a general rule is that if a device is online the parent should be able to see the screen.

2. Talk about clear boundaries and expectations. Spend time setting guidelines for how the internet will be used in your home. What sites are allowed to be visited and how will social media accounts be managed? Be clear about what your kids are allowed to post and the consequence will be if kids don’t follow the rules.

3. Limit time spent online. Bored kids wasting time online is never a good thing. Decide how much time your kids can be online and stick to it. Continue reading

04.29.14

NekNominate: CPYU Trend Alert: Online Alcohol One-Ups-Manship

www.cpyu.org

Earlier this year, Rhiannon Scully had too much to drink. Two of her friends encouraged her to guzzle a mixture of vodka and whiskey. They issued their dare to Rhiannon after seeing someone do the same on a viral Facebook video. When her mother found Rhiannon with her eyes rolling back in her head, she called an ambulance. Rhiannon was fortunate. After spending the night in the hospital and having her stomach pumped, she returned home. Rhiannon is nine-years-old.

Rhiannon Scully had indulged in a competitive social-media-fueled drinking game that’s sweeping through Australia, the United Kingdom, and now the United States. Known as NekNominate, this new and dangerous competition is especially popular among the under-30 crowd, including young adults, college students, teenagers, and even pre-teens.

Originated in Australia, NekNominate combines “Necking” (the Australian slang term for guzzling or chugging alcohol) with nominating others to do the same. How does it work?  Continue reading

04.22.14

A Generation of “Firsts” (Part One & Two)   by TIm Elmore

http://growingleaders.com/blog/a-generation-of-firsts/#sthash.UikdMlQK.dpuf

Your high school or college students are among a generation who’s the first to experience a number of realities. In fact, because they’re initiating these realities, they may present a challenge to your parents and teachers. Adults are grappling with how to raise this population of kids who grew up on-line, with a screen in their hands. The pixels and format of those screens have re-wired their brains: they think differently, react differently, communicate differently, and process information differently than adults. Some call them “screenagers.” Consider the following “firsts” they represent.

This is the First Generation of Youth Who: Continue reading

04.22.14

I’m Struggling With Same Sex Attraction   by Aaron Crumbey

http://blog.simplyyouthministry.com/general-ministry/im-struggling-with-same-sex-attraction/#sthash.Dtn1lxx7.dpufhttp://bit.ly/1ouHhLy

I had a lot of great conversations around my last post. If you didn’t get to read it, here it is. I had a few conversations about the fact that a lot of the struggle is at the one-on-one level. And the question “What should I do if a student comes and says they are struggling with same sex attraction?” So I thought I’d share a few thoughts in this area. Definitely can’t share everything in one post, but here are some of the main points.

There is no quick fix to their struggle and so we need to be ready to walk with them for the long haul–especially in this area. Secondly, I believe lasting change is from the inside out and not the other way around. I believe God wants us concerned with the condition of the heart. So no matter what they struggle with Proverbs 4:23 gives me a good reason to start with the condition of the heart.

I will also say no matter what the struggle is, this is my approach. So here are a few things I do intentionally in a one-on-one situation:

  1. I listen – I’ve learned meeting with hundreds of students that when I shut up and genuinely listen they speak from the heart. Meaning, you do not need to impress them with your words or what you know, the only thing I want them to know in that instant is that they are being genuinely heard. I need to set my mind to absorb and not fix. The fixer will draw conclusions with bits and pieces of information with the intent to fix. The absorber is just taking in the information. Drawing a conclusion based on part of the story is dangerous, because you could be completely wrong on the cause and the solution. So listen and absorb. You need to hear their story completely, and they need to share it with you.
  2. I ask questions – You can’t rely on the students to have all of their thoughts together and share everything in one sitting. They will share with you, but it may not all connect or make sense. Ask questions on incomplete thoughts or to go deeper on a subject or area they have opened up about. Don’t just let it slide. Ask the tough questions. Example: if a student opens up about their relationship with their parents, go deeper in that area by asking more questions.
  3. I’m careful with my language – If the student comes in saying they have been struggling, you can assume that they already beat themselves down and thought of every negative thing you can think of. So I want to be careful that my words are seasoned with grace and love. The last thing I want is for them to leave feeling worse then when they showed up. Sometimes we justify our negativity with not watering down the truth. Well, take a beat from the Bible, because it guides us in how we should deliver the truth. (Proverbs 25:11, Proverbs 15:23, Ephesians 4:15)
  4. Focus on their relationship with Christ – A lot times we think that we need to focus on the problem or the struggle, and that’s just not true. The only cure to our brokenness in any way is through an authentic relationship with Christ. Asking the question “How is your relationship with Christ?” is where we find the problem and the solution. Not the solution to how we stop them from doing what they are doing, but the solution to an even bigger problem that plagues all of us. That is not growing in the knowledge of Jesus Christ, nor allowing the power of what He did on the cross to overtake our lives. Again, our job isn’t to change people…because we can’t. Our job is to point them to the one who can. Our job is not to focus on the problem or struggle, but to focus on the one and only solution Jesus Christ.

I’ve learned that at times, when I’m walking with a student through a struggle, I find myself thinking about how I can get this student out of the mess and hurt they find themselves in. Sometimes I wish I could just snap my finger and everything becomes all better. And I often hear God reminding me that He loves them more then I will ever be able to. There is not a solution that I have that will come close to what He’s able to do for them. So point them to Him.

 

04.22.14

Troubled Teen Triggers   by Mark Gregston

http://www.heartlightministries.org/blogs/markgregston/2014/04/17/troubled-teen-triggers-2/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzEmail&utm_content=207988&utm_campaign=On-Demand_2014-04-17%2015%3a19

Do your parents know everything that happened every minute of your childhood? Probably not. Neither do you know everything that has happened in your teenager’s life.

Events in our childhood can impact the way we relate and act in our teenage years and sometimes for the rest of our lives. Past happenings may lead us to feel that we are inadequate and we react by learning to schmooze, to be sauve, to snow people, to use humor to fit in, to be shy, or to avoid people or situations.

Think back on your own life. Are there early events that caused you to think and behave the way you do? I’m sure if you think about it for a day or two, you’ll remember hurtful things you haven’t thought about for years, yet they impact your everyday life and relationships today.

Bad behavior in the teenage years can be triggered by something as simple as a comment made by someone many years prior. The teen may not even remember what was said, just the feeling it created. Or, it could be rooted in the consistent lack of affirmation, or a traumatic event in your child’s life, like a split in your home, sexual abuse, emotional abuse by a parent, or a major loss in the teen’s life.

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04.22.14

Teen ‘Sexting’ Ring Discovered on Instagram   by Keith Wagstaff

http://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/teen-sexting-ring-discovered-instagram-n76861

In what sounds like a parent’s worst nightmare, more than 100 teens were implicated in a “sexting” ring in Virginia involving images of nude and semi-nude minors shared on social media.

More than 1,000 photos and videos were discovered by law enforcement in Central Virginia, most of them of teenage girls between the ages of 14 and 17 years old and shared on Instagram.

No charges have been filed. It’s possible, although not likely, that teenage suspects could be charged with distributing child pornography, a felony that could land them on the sex offender registry for life.

“Our goal is not to go out and label 100-plus teenagers as sex offenders,” Maj. Donald Lowe of the Louisa County Sheriff’s Office told NBC News. “What we really want to do is bring this issue to parents’ attention.” Continue reading

04.14.14

8 apps parents should watch for, according to an investigator of crimes against children   by Theresa MarchettaPhil Tenser

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/8-apps-parents-should-watch-for-according-to-an-investigator-of-crimes-against-children

Is it really a friend or is it a predator?

Unless you are actively monitoring your child’s smartphone and tablet apps, you are not getting a complete picture of who they’re talking to.

“If parents aren’t vigilant in checking apps, they are going to look at their kids texting and say, ‘Oh, there is no problem here,'” said Jefferson County (Colorado) District Attorney Investigator Mike Harris, a 35-year law enforcement veteran.

But Harris says eight apps are now among the top concerns in his search for predators — who children may call “creepers.”

“With anything in technology, we as parents need to parent, and just not let our kids do stuff because we have no idea what it exposes our kids to,” Harris said. “Sometimes we get busy and we forget and our kids add an app. Before long our kids have twenty apps that we don’t even know about.”

Harris provided this list of apps that parents should watch for: Continue reading

04.14.14

8 Ways to Empower Your Team   by Brad Lomenick

http://www.bradlomenick.com/2014/03/25/8-ways-to-empower-your-team/?utm_content=bufferb16ea&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Here are a few thoughts on Empowering your Team:

1. Give them the opportunity to make decisions, and don’t second guess them. A lot of us as leaders are willing to allow our team members to make decisions, but want to step in as soon as we see something done differently than we would do. Don’t make that mistake. It is totally demoralizing to your team. Believe me, I know from experience!!

2. Assign them responsibility by them owning key projects from START to FINISH. So once we allow team members to make key decisions, now we have to allow them to own projects and feel the responsibility of completion.

3. Give them Freedom combined with Accountability. Freedom without accountability can lead to a great place to work with nothing getting done. Accountability without Flexibility can lead to a terrible place to work with things getting done but everyone hating their job. These have to work together.

4. Fight for them. Whether it’s standing up for them to your boss, or standing beside them and supporting them in a disagreement with a vendor, always take the stance of fighting for them and being willing to go to battle for them. Continue reading